The State of the Wait

It’s agony. As you all know. It feels like Friday is further away each day. And I can’t help but replay my past three IVF’s in my mind, even though I know I shouldn’t go there:

IVF 1.0
At 10 days post 6 day transfer Beta was 800. Two days later, it doubled nicely to 1600. At six weeks, three days, we had our first ultrasound and saw a single baby, measuring a few days behind with a faint heartbeat. At 8 weeks, we discovered baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks 3 days. Heartbreaking.

FET 1.0 from IVF 1.0
At 10 days post 6 day transfer, betas was 91. Two days later, beta was 270. At our six week ultrasound, we found that baby stopped developing at 4 or 5 weeks. Numb and heartbroken.

IVF 2.0 (Fresh cycle)
At 10 days post 6 day transfer, beta was 470 and two days later, 840. And nine months later, to my utter amazement and joy, my baby girl was born.

Which brings us to now- FET 2.0 from IVF 1.0. The “bad” batch. Are these the two rock star embryos that were just waiting their turn? Or do they hold the same fate as the rest of their batch?

So far, the slight symptoms come and go- which is simultaneously terrifying and reassuring. I find comfort in reading back my blog posts from 2011 when I thought it was over before my first ultrasound- and was happily shocked to be proven otherwise.

There’s nothing I can do but wait and see. Please, Friday- be good to me.

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6 thoughts on “The State of the Wait

  1. journey2dfuture February 26, 2014 at 10:26 pm Reply

    Sending you positive vibes. Wishing you all the best for tomorrow. X

    • Jess February 27, 2014 at 8:56 am Reply

      Thank you- I need all the positive vibes I can get!

  2. Jenn February 27, 2014 at 6:47 am Reply

    I know this wait must be horrible, given your history. Hang in there!

    • Jess February 27, 2014 at 8:55 am Reply

      Thank you so much. Only. one. more. day. Still seems like forever to wait until ultrasound. I’ll keep you updated.

  3. maternalstateofmind February 27, 2014 at 3:12 pm Reply

    You’re going to get great news!!! Excited for your wait to be over though…!

    • Jess February 27, 2014 at 10:11 pm Reply

      Thank you- your confidence is heartening. I need that!

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