Sending a special father’s day wish to Erin’s father- and to all those fathers out there who have supported their daughters (and sons) struggling with infertility- as well as to all the fathers-in-waiting.
At our first appointment at that fertility clinic I remember being optimistic and giddy…in my naivety I felt like I was going to be pregnant in no time, especially when he looked at my chart and said…”this is a simple case.” Well three
Interuterine Inseminations (IUIs) later and the only thing getting fat was my chart, not my uterus. As a result of my frustration and desperation I remember storming into his office and demanding my file in order to switch to another fertility clinic. One where a colleague of mine whose chances for conception were “much worse than mine” had gotten pregnant with twins with IVF 1.0. He also thought my case would be a simple one…
I was so frustrated when I failed the pregnancy test of IUI 4 with my new miracle doctor. When we failed to get pregnant, he suggested a laparoscopic endometriosis operation. He was so excited when he told me at the recovery room that he found enough evidence to show why my previous IUIs had failed. And so, during my next cycle we went for IUI 6.
I started to cry when I found out I was pregnant…but our joy only lasted 2 days. My beta was not doubling. I remember crying and lashing out at God. Why me? Why us? What had I done to deserve this pain and suffering? I remember screaming and punching my abdominal area until I bruised. I remember wanting to sleep off the pain and numbing myself with Tylenol PM. And I also remember the pain from the Methotrexate. But my RE was still optimistic that I could get pregnant.
On the night before my scheduled BETA (blood pregnancy test) I told my husband I would was not going to test. But when I woke up at 3 am with a need to pee, I said, “ok, here goes nothing” and used an old home pregnancy test. After debating whether or not to look at it, I saw two lines!!!!! OMG, OMG, I finally passed the test. I woke up my husband and we got dressed to go to the lab. We were the first ones there and by mid day we got the call, BETA was over 300. I was PREGNANT!!!!
My pregnancy was hard and I was on bedrest for over 20 weeks because of an incompetent cervix. But on February 5, 2013, my miracle baby girl was born. Today I look back as I write my story and thank God for not letting me stop, not giving up, and my father.
Today my father lies in a bed a few feet from me with stage iv cancer. He will be with God soon, but he met his gift of life. The best thing is that my daughter’s embryo was conceived the same day of my Dad’s birthday. For ever and ever May 18th means hope and life. I hope that whomever reads my journey be filled with love and hope….