I know you’ve had some low moments over the last two weeks, but I’m proud of how you’ve managed your fear. You stopped looking for symptoms, you took a break from Twitter and thinking about IVF 24 hours a day, you’ve even managed to get some work done. At moments you’ve dared to be hopeful, as scary as that feeling can be. Overall, you’ve maintained your sanity (And yes, I recognize I sound a bit crazy writing to myself in the third person right now.)
Tomorrow you’ll have either seen a happy little baby heartbeat, or not. Either way, I want to remind you that it WILL be ok.
If you don’t get happy news:
- I won’t lie to you. It will be rough. But you’ve survived this before and I know you will again.
- You haven’t told anyone about this try- so you don’t have to worry about the stress of sharing bad news. Just you and Mr. T and your friends here who know.
- You told your office that you might be working from home after your appointment. Go home and try to get some work done from there if you can.
- There’s nothing wrong with a little escape from reality. Make a movie date (make it a funny one) with Mr. T for Wednesday night.
- Those bottles of wine you bought with Mr. T before IVF 3.0? They are waiting for you. Enjoy them with some soft cheese too.
- I’ve already booked you a hair appointment for the next day- so enjoy a new look.
- You have a trip to San Francisco planned with Mr. T this weekend to meet up with friends. I know you might not want to go, but it will be good for you to get away for the weekend.
- Look forward to a summer without IVF treatments. Plan that hiking trip to Mt. St. Helens and Mt. Hood that you’ve been meaning to do for years now. Look forward to the beach weekend and the hot tub you can now indulge in.
- Get those new running shoes and pick a race for the end of the summer. You can run as far and as fast or as slow as you want now. Enjoy it.
- Schedule that massage you purchased on Social Living.
- I know you won’t want to try again, but when you are ready, after you have gone to counseling and taken the time to get second opinions, prepare to give it one last try with the two frozen embryos left from IVF 1.0.
- Remember: you will be a mother one way or another. You baby might be on the way right now- someplace across the world. It’s time to start looking into adoption and deciding where you will find your baby.
- Know that you aren’t going through this alone. You have Mr. T and so many friends here who have been through this too.
- Enjoy every minute of your pregnancy. I know the wait until the next ultrasound will be scary too, but remember that you thought for sure this baby was already gone, so don’t worry if you don’t feel symptoms. This time it WILL be different.