Immaculate Conception: The Morning After

The Annunciation: Dr. IVF reports we have 7 embryos.

I woke up yesterday feeling like it it was Christmas morning, giddy with excitement about my 14 eggs. For IVF 1.0, we had 11, so I was hopeful that this was already a better start.

I lay in bed with Mr. T, thinking about what those 14 eggs would be up to now, wondering how many of them were mature and how many had survived the night as new embryos. I tried to visualize my eggs meeting Mr. T’s sperm and how they would have to love each other as much as T and I love each other, becoming happy healthy embryos that would one day become our happy healthy baby.

Mr. T wakes up and sees me smiling.

“Thinking about your 14 eggs, aren’t you?” he guessed, knowing me well.

“Maybe,” I smile, trying to be mysterious and giving him a sexy look, despite the fact that we both know there won’t be any sexiness for a while. We are under orders to be chaste until sometime after the transfer and two week wait, a reminder of how our physical coupling is irrelevant in making a child. Any baby we have will have to be an immaculate conception. Another of life’s little ironies since I wrote my undergraduate thesis about “Annunciation” paintings- the moment Gabriel delivers the news to Mary that she will become a mother.

After lying in bed enjoying the happy thought of those 14 eggs for a while longer, doubt invites itself to our bed and my head.

“T- What if none of the 11 eggs are mature? What if none of them made it through the night? What if the nurse dropped them on the floor and lost them all?”

My husband knows this routine, the “worst case scenario” game I play far to often for his liking.

“It’s not worth worrying about until you hear what the doctor,” he says in his best common sense tone, the tone that says he’s not playing my game.

As if on cue, the phone rings. It’s Dr. IVF. I try to calm myself, prepared for bad news, and impatiently rush through the pleasantries anxious to get the bottom line. His tone and greeting sounds positive- or does it?

“So, 12 of the 14 eggs were mature,” he says. “And of those twelve, seven fertilized. We’ll plan on a three-day transfer, but we’ll give you a call on Tuesday if we decide to wait for a five day transfer.”

Relief rushes over me, as I know the first hurdle is over. We have seven potential embryos, the same as we had from IVF 1.0.

But as soon as I recall the comparison, anxiety replaces my relief. Despite my best efforts not to think about IVF 1.0 and what followed, I keep being reminded.

I spend the rest of the day feverishly cleaning the house, sweeping out every corner, scrubbing tiles on the shower ceiling I’ve never scrubbed before, and making chicken soup to freeze for after transfer.

Mr. T says I’m “nesting.” I’m surprised he’s even heard the term. But perhaps I am. Hopefully my body knows something my mind can’t quite believe- that this is my last chance to do all this before I’m pregnant for the next nine months.

Embryo transfer is currently scheduled for tomorrow (Tuesday, Day 3) at 11am Pacific Time-unless I get the call as I did with IVF 1.0 to wait until Day 5. That call will come sometime before 9am which won’t give me much time to prepare. My coworkers will just have to learn not to count on me this week. I’ll update you all when I can.

Thanks to you all for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I may be a bad twitter and blog friend this week, but I truly appreciate everyone’s support.

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8 thoughts on “Immaculate Conception: The Morning After

  1. Serendipitie April 11, 2011 at 8:30 pm Reply

    Thinking the best! Hope to see some good updates soon 🙂

  2. Kristina Kent April 11, 2011 at 8:50 pm Reply

    You are not a bad twitter or blog friend! You have been here for me, cheering me on and answering dumb ?’s through this whole cycle. Now it’s your turn 🙂 I’ll be thinking of you & your embies tomorrow. Try not to worry, you’re doing great so far!

    Kristina

  3. Vicky April 11, 2011 at 10:19 pm Reply

    I can’t get over the irony of your undergrad thesis. It comforts me to know it’s not just my life that’s full of such ridiculous correlations!

    Anyways, this is so very exciting! I will be waiting in anticipation for updates! Thinking of you 🙂

  4. sunnymama April 12, 2011 at 12:55 am Reply

    Thinking of you and your embies and sending lots of love and hope. 🙂 xx

  5. hopingforrainbows April 12, 2011 at 3:12 am Reply

    Jess you could never be a bad twitter friend. You are always on here cheering us up when we need some support or a laugh. Sending you lots of sticky vibes for transfer. Put those feet up, get some pineapple and brazil nuts into you and let Mr T look after you so your embie/s can snuggle on into a great new home.

  6. myTTCstory April 12, 2011 at 4:17 am Reply

    I love that your hubby knows you so well! I have little embryo daydreams too and it really helps with PMA. Congrats on your 7 little embabies.

    And I agree with the others, you’re not a bad Twitter friend at all, you’re one of the best!

    MyTTCstory xx

  7. BabyMakingDiaries April 12, 2011 at 1:10 pm Reply

    Thinking of you and praying your embies keep growing stronger (and that the nurse doesn’t drop them on the floor:)). Wishing you loads of luck for transfer xx

  8. Moon April 13, 2011 at 2:01 pm Reply

    Thinking of you hun, and hoping your embies stay strong for you.
    Wishing you all the very best for transfer too!
    Moon x

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